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The Three Questions Book Review

Posted in Book Review, tagged Book, book review, Children, children's book review, Children's literature, Giant panda, Jon J Muth, kidlit, Leo Tolstoy, NaBloPoMo, Nikolai Gogol, Smiling Like Sunshine, The Three Questions [Based on a story by Leo Tolstoy], Zen Shorts, Zen Ties on November 1, 2011 | 9 Comments »

It’s Book Sharing Monday from Smiling Like Sunshine! We read a lot of books in this family and I love hearing from other parents when they come across a book that their kids liked. So, I’m going to be adding weekly posts about books that my kids recommend. Feel free to share any you’ve come across that might be a nice complement to the one I’m reviewing
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The Three Questions [Based on a story by Leo Tolstoy]

The Three Questions

by Jon J. Muth

I vaguely remember reading the original Tolstoy short story in college and found it to be plodding and heavy-handed, but that was my rebellious, immature self. I did adore his novel-lengths works. If I ever decide to delve into Russian lit again, I may have a different reaction. But, I share this with you as it may color this review.

The Three Questions tells the story of a boy, named Nikolai, and his three questions,

When is the best time to do things?
Who is the most important one?
What is the right thing to do?

First, Nikolai asks his questions of his friends, Sonya the Heron, Gogol the Monkey, and Pushkin the Dog. Their answers are centered around their specific worldview and are dissatisfying for Nikolai. So, he climbs a mountain to ask the the wise old turtle, Leo. Nikolai ask his questions, but puts them aside as he sees Leo is struggling to dig in his garden. He takes over digging in the garden to help Leo.

Then, a storm blows in and Nikolai rushes to help an injured panda. He carries her from the woods to Leo’s house, where he warms her and tends her leg. When she wakes, she cries for her baby and Leo rushes back to the woods to bring the baby panda back to the warm safety of his mother. The pandas are happy and Leo has been helped.

Nikolai feels at peace, even though he has not found the answers to his three questions. Then, Leo points out that Nikolai’s actions gave him the answers to his questions on their own:

When is the best time to do things? Answer: Now.
Who is the most important one? Answer: The one you are with.
What is the right thing to do? Answer: To do good for the one you are with.

At the end, Leo says, “This is why we are here.”

I agree with the central message of this book and it sparked some interesting discussions with my sons about the three questions and what is the right thing to do. I found it interesting that the message Nat wanted driven home to me was that I would be doing the right thing by giving him everything he wants right now. We may disagree over the word “need” versus “want.” But, in essence, he is correct.

Having a yogini mother, they’ve heard about being present, that now is the only reality, and how relationships with others are our reasons for living lets say, a few times. They were familiar with the central themes enough that it held their interest a few times. But, it hasn’t been a highly requested book compared to the series by Muth with Stillwater.

When I checked this out from the library, I didn’t realize it was another Jon J. Muth book until the page with the panda illustration. I recognized his hand from the Zen Ties series with Stillwater the panda. Sadly, I found most of the illustrations in this book to be too washed out to impress my sons. They noticed the pops of color, such as the red kite and the darkness on the page with the storm in the forest.

I do think this book is worth checking out from the library to see whether your children will connect with it. I also suggest Jon Muth’s other books highly. My kids especially enjoyed Zen Ties which has a very similar message to this book (including the red motif.)

Activities to create with this book:

Spoken Arts Video has this PDF with activities and questions for the K-5 crowd based on their video version of the book. I think it’s a little advanced for the younger elementary-aged student, but the activities are inspired. We did the “line down the middle” activity and found it enjoyable. My kids were less interested in the other activities.
Look at the Richard Scary “Busy Town” books and discuss their jobs, relationships, and how they help (or don’t help) one another. My kids loved doing this. We made up stories together about the pictures with them providing huge imaginations and me gently steering back toward the three questions.
Discuss with your children the idea of people or animals who are in need. Brainstorm about different ways to help those less fortunate. Write down every idea, no matter how far-fetched or untenable. The point is to get them in the mode of thinking about what might help. Follow through on whatever cause is workable for your family (for us, it meant dropping off towels, blankets, and old medicines at the local animal shelter.)
Have a “Help Out” day when you ask your kids for help with all sorts of fun activities like creating huge bubbles in the sink or fingerpainting rocks. Be present with one another as you enjoy “helping out” in creating something tactile and fun.
Make a red kite like Nikolai’s in the book and go fly it!

All Children’s Book Reviews on TouchstoneZ (touchstonez.com)
The Three Questions and The Art of Now (candidness.wordpress.com)

Have you read any good books lately? I’d love to hear from you.

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Tiger Tiger Is It True Book Review

Posted in Book Review, tagged Book, Byron Katie, Children, children's book review, kidlit, Smiling Like Sunshine, Tiger Tiger Is it True on October 24, 2011 | 5 Comments »

Cover of "Tiger-Tiger, Is It True?: Four ...

Cover via Amazon

Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? Four Questions to Make You Smile Again

by Byron Katie

I made the mistake of taking Nat with me to pick up a costume that I had found on Craigslist. I didn’t want to spend 40 minutes to drive home and back, when the person selling the costume was 5 minutes from where we were. He spent the next 4 days whining at me and telling me how unfair I was not to let him have the costume right away. He told me how mad and sad it made him. I tried to keep my patience as best I could while still gently explaining that I was working on not getting mad with him. I explained that I was glad that he was using his words to express his feelings and that I would listen.

We pulled out a few books to help talk about the difference between him and his feelings. We talked about how he could try to choose how to feel about something. It is hard to remember that nothing can “make” you feel a certain way when you are feeling overwhelmed.

“Tiger, Tiger, Is It True?” is the story of a Tiger cub who is having a rotten day. He thinks life is unfair as he has one thing after another happen to add to this feeling. He meets up with a turtle who asks him to question his suppositions about his feelings and other people “making” him feel alone, unheard, and undervalued. He listens to Tiger Tiger say things like, “Nobody cares about me.” and asks, “Are you certain this is true that NO ONE care about you?” Then gently guides Tiger Tiger to see that this is not completely true and in the process, diffuses the feelings of sadness and frustration.

My son got the message loud and clear. He then proceeded to tell me that he was choosing to stay frustrated about not getting his costume because he wanted it so much. I said that I understood his choice and I knew that he felt heard. I began suggesting that he think of way to compromise. He didn’t want to wait, yet couldn’t afford to buy the costume. We don’t pay our kids for doing things around the house. They get their weekly money because they are a part of the family. Everyone in our family contributes to household chores and everyone earns weekly money. My son suggested that he forego his allowance for the next month to help pay for the costume. To get the costume now, instead of waiting until he had enough money, he decided to be a “big helper.” Then, he would ask again if I felt he was ready for his costume.

He truly was a big helper and I did give him his costume later when he asked. It was interesting because he did not express that he was doing chores to “earn” his costume, but rather he was helping to show how seriously he took enjoying the costume. We talked about Tiger, Tiger and he said that being a big helper was like Tiger Tiger riding his bike with his best friends in the book. It felt good!

This book was written by Byron Katie, who wrote, among other books, the adult version of this “Tiger, Tiger” called: Loving What Is, Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. I highly recommend checking it out as well if you like the message in this children’s book. The idea that you can break the cycle of your thoughts has been extremely helpful to me in my journey to break PPD’s hold, as well as in every day life (especially in parenting.)

Activities to create with this book:

When a child is calmed from a tantrum or other difficult emotional period, grab some puppets or small toys and perform a show with your child in which you ask the turtle’s questions. Then flip it, so your child has a turn to ask some questions. You’ll be pleasantly surprised what comes out in this type of freeplay.
Get outside in the grass and do some Yoga, pretending to be animals: such as a tiger, turtle, zebra, rhinoceros. You can look up some Yoga poses or just use your imagination to pose your bodies like the animals. Think of the characteristics both physical and the ones exemplified in the book (for example, the turtle is slow and deliberate. The zebra is flighty and carefree.)
Go to the waterside and skip stones or toss rocks. Talk about the ripples and how they affect one another when they meet up. Talk about the state of the stone in and out of the water. Observe that even though the rock may be wet or dry, still or moving, seen or unseen, it remains a rock. It reacts to its environment but its nature isn’t changed by it.
Act out being frustrated and ask your child to be the one to calm you. Wail and moan. Stomp your feet. Talk about how unfair everything is. Wish for someone like turtle to help you choose to feel differently about these things.
Some tiger printables and activities to use with this book from Coloring.ws. I like doing the coloring pages side by side at times and telling our own version of the story together, taking turns with the events and allowing it to spin into a totally new tale.

Mean Soup Book Review (touchstonez.com)
Book Review: Namaste! (touchstonez.com)
Review of Little Yoga and Sleepy Little Yoga Books (touchstonez.com)
Books Blog and Buddha Bubbling Up (touchstonez.com)
Peaceful Piggy Meditation Book Review for Book Sharing Monday (touchstonez.com)
Zen Ties Children’s Book Review for Book Sharing Monday (touchstonez.com)

Have you read any good books lately? I’d love to hear from you.

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Mean Soup Children’s Book Review

Posted in Book Review, tagged Book, book review, Child, Children, Children's Books, Children's literature, Emotion, Home, Horace, kidlit, Mean Soup, Parent, Sark, Smiling Like Sunshine, Soup, Tantrum on October 17, 2011 | 4 Comments »

Cover of Mean Soup

Mean Soup

by Betsey Everitt

One of the things I try to support with my children is that feelings are okay. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are. It is up to each person to decide how to be when they feel something.

I try to avoid phrases like, “That made me [feeling]” or “I am [this feeling]” in favor of phrases like, “I like/did not like [that action]” or “I feel [feeling].” It’s pretty ingrained in me to say the former and I have to practice the latter. But, it is an important difference in empowering my kids to manage their feelings as they are able. The point is that even when someone reacts to a feeling, there is nothing wrong with that. Every moment is another chance to choose how to react or not react to something. If the current moment is missed. There will be another one.

Since my children are children, I try to access the idea of feelings as being okay through roleplaying, imaginative play and games, empathy and modeling, just acting silly, and lots of reading. This book, Mean Soup, covers all of these areas nicely.

The little boy in this book, Horace, comes home after a bad day. He’s feeling so mean that he hisses at his mother then throws a temper tantrum. So, his mom puts a pot of water on the stove and proceeds to make soup. She tosses some salt over her shoulder then playacts anger into the pot, inviting an intrigued Horace to join her. Together they scream and act out their anger into the pot.

I pulled this book out when my 3 year old was really mad and we read it together. We hissed, screamed and blew dragon breath into the book to get all the mean out. It was a safe, playful place for him to handle the mean feelings that we threatening to overwhelm his preschooler mind. And I didn’t lose my patience with his emotional outburst.

My 5 year was entranced. So, we immediately read it again. And again. And again. This time with my 15 month old latched on and giggling at us all while we made mean sounds into the book. Mean Soup has turned out to be a go to favorite for my kids.

If I am ever at a loss to use play to handle big emotions, having this book on hand is going to be a useful tool. This is one I’m buying instead of borrowing from the library.

How to Really Love a Child

Activities to create with this book:

Make the soup described in the book (pot, water, salt, spoons, etc) and act out getting mad at the soup until everyone dissolves into giggles. This one never gets old with the kids. It is a powerful emotion diffuser!
Stomp around with a grumpy look on your face and state, “I am grumpy parent. I will never eat any soup someone makes for me. No matter how much a nice person tries to make me eat soup. I will not because I am grumpy!” Chances are, you’ll be presented with soup. You can then refuse to eat it even if spoon fed, restating how grumpy you are. Eventually, the child will be able to soften even the grumpiest parent with their Mean Soup.
When someone is grumpy, I get them in water (as mentioned in the Sark poem.) We made Mean Soup in the bathtub or the shower, using various toys as ingredients and utensils. As mentioned in a previous post, my kids used MeanPinkKangaroo in the soup and reveled in delight as they ate her.
Get out the crayons and draw a big pot then invite your kids to draw “Mean” ingredients or make giant scribbles all over the page.
Grab a tissue or a feather and see if you can use your dragon breath to see who can keep them in the air the longest.