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Mama Sutras Series

Yoga Sutra 1.1: “Now is the Time for Yoga”

Eternal Clock

In this second examination of the first sutra (the first part can be found here), I’ll approach it from a deconstruction of the sutra. Next time, I’ll look at it from a parenting perspective.

This first sutra acts as an introduction for all that come after. It sets the stage for the listener to understand and incorporate the philosophy into daily life. Some schools of thought on the Yoga Sutras say that all of them can be summarized into this one sutra.

The sutras were originally shared orally in Sanskrit, and the words have multiple meanings that persist far deeper than in the English translation. There are multiple translations of even this seemingly straightforward sentence. But, this one is my favorite because of the many ways that the English words can be approached and used.

It is, for me, a mantra that I return to as a centering practice. Although I chant it in Sanskrit, it is the English translation that I spend the most time meditating on because it is my native language and is, therefore, alive for me.

Like the posts that will come after in this series, this post is another introduction to enter into the Sutras. Studying the Sutras is the work of a lifetime, and I don’t claim to do more than scratch the surface with my thoughts on them. My hope is to help make them accessible to you.

A common theme in Yoga is to be open to lessons presented to you, to take what speaks to you now and think deeply on it. Don’t disregard the rest. Rather, put them aside until they feel there is a feeling of curiosity about them. The Sutras, like all the forms of Yoga, can be brought into any philosophical, spiritual or religious belief system. They are tools to help you explore what is true in your life.

Most westerners think of physical poses when they think of Yoga. Those poses, called, Asanas, are one of the legs that are laid out in the Yoga Sutras as tools for exploration. Asana is a preparation for deeper work. Once you have moved and stretched the body, it is ready to be still. Meditation or thinking about things comes more easily without the complaints of a stiff body to distract.

Just as you can see asana as a part of the Sutras, you can see the Sutras within the practice of asana. They are tools to focus the mind to think about whatever it is that you want to think about without distractions.

Now is the Time for Yoga.

The word “now” reminds us that this is really all there is. Right now. We remember the past and we imagine the future, but those are abstract feelings of time. All that really can be grounded into is what is being experienced right now (I won’t go into the projections of the self in this experience here, of course. That’s for later posts.)

If we can stay fully present in now, we can also be fully engaged in what we’re doing. We aren’t caught up in what might have been or what could be. We are paying attention.

That’s not to say that you don’t live without thinking about consequences. Rather, the consequences of actions are a part of what you are doing in that moment. It is an authentic way to live with truth and compassion.

Now also presupposes some degree of preparation. Now is the time to settle in because all that has come before has led you to this time and place. There is no more judgment of what has happened, because you are here.

And this moves us into time. If we think of now as a place on a timeline, with the past being to our left and the future to our right, we can stand here in the middle and breathe deeply from the balance of each point in time. Time is always moving and we move along with it, from one now into another now. This gives us the ability to act with mindfulness while we flow through it.

Breathe more. React less.

There’s more time now to really think about what we want since we’re here, now. We’re prepared and present. Without worrying about what will happen or what has happened, there’s room for connection with ourselves and others.

Which is one meaning of Yoga: union. A bringing together. A connection. A willingness to be open to what is. To radically accept what is real and to find the compassion to face it. With this union of time in reality, comes a responsibility for compassion. Another meaning of the word Yoga: is “to yoke.” Whether we like to admit it or not, we are tied to what is around us. While we have no control about what others do, remembering that we have this push-pull connection helps us again, to take action from a place of empathy.

***
The word Sutra means thread. Threads can be traced. They can have a beginning and an end. They can be stitched into the fabric that we have already woven. They can tie things together or mend broken places.

Threads can be so thin that we don’t notice them at first, like walking through a spider web. But, once we have noticed the threads, we walk with greater presence of mind as we look for more of them. And, if you have ever walked through a spider web, you’ll know what it means to be fully in the now.

***

Namaste

For more resources, I have gathered my most dog-eared books on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali here and here.

Other entries in this series can be found in the Mama Sutras.

How often do you stay in the now? Is it a practice for you to stay fully present or do you find yourself flitting from the past to the future? Do you have other interpretations of the first Sutra that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear from you.

Photo Credit: Robert VanderSteeg on Flickr

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Last year, I began a project using the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali as a framework for looking at gentle parenting and mindful living off the mat. I left the series for awhile as I explored some natural tangents into Buddhism. But, I’m ready to return to the Yoga Sutras. I’ll begin with my original post in the series here, reflecting further on Sutra 1.1 in a later post. I hope you enjoy this reboot.

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virabhadrasana II

Image by whatnot via Flickr

Saving-face: Adding second-face to the preface

Or the esoteric subtitle: Introduction to the Mama Sutras

Sutra 1.1: “Now is the Time for Yoga” Part the First

One of the projects I am exploring with TouchstoneZ is life off the yoga mat. And I plan to do this by thinking about and utilizing “The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali” in daily life, which means mostly while parenting and spousing (or espousing, as the case may be.) So, for those not familiar with the Yoga Sutras or even yoga, I reassure you (please bring those glazing eyes back into focus) that this will be accessible to other parents (especially the crunchy ones) regardless of any interest in Yoga.

I spend a good portion of my time practicing Yoga “on the mat.” By Yoga, I don’t just mean yoga asanas, or postures that you perform in a studio on a sticky mat. Asanas are a preparation for the body to be able to sit comfortably. But, Yoga as a whole really is just a way to practice how to sit comfortably with emotions, physical sensations, outside stimuli, and philosophical ideas (both deep and shallow.) I think most people are more familiar with yoga as an asana class, and this familiarity with one limb of Yoga is readily accessible to understand the whole. If you’ve ever been in (or seen) an asana class where the teacher asks the students to hold Warrior 2 (Virabhadrasana II) for an unreasonable amount of time, then you can begin to understand what I mean. Imagine you are standing in Warrior 2 (please stay with me now. It’s a meta-four, ya’ see) and your front thigh begins to demand your attention, along the lines of the unreasonableness of holding the pose for one moment longer. Thoughts arise, such as:

  • I can’t believe she’s making us stay here this long.
  • My thigh hurts. It’s screaming.
  • Easy for her to say, she’s walking around the room while I’m in pain.
  • My old knee injury from college track is cropping up now.
  • I can’t do this.
  • I’m not doing this.
  • Insert your own personal complaints here.

And whatever other things that you brought with you to the mat, such as:

  • I knew this would happen.
  • Look at him, he can do this pose so much better than I can.
  • I shouldn’t have come to this class. No one else is struggling.
  • I suck at yoga. I’m never coming back.
  • Insert your own personal self-flagellations here

This is where the Yoga asana as meditation comes in. Without Yoga practice, I would follow those thoughts, like hopping a train speeding along the tracks, to the end of the line: unhappiness and suffering station. Taking my practice on the mat, to stand in Warrior 2, and remain, still and steady with all these thoughts going through my head (along with the grocery list, my eighth grade spelling bee experience, a conversation I’d had that morning, whether my comfy jeans were in thedryer, etc, etc, etc, ad naseum) without evaluating the thoughts as good or bad, is why I practice Yoga. Sure, it would be nice to have the body of that lithe ballerina b*tch in the front row, but I what I really want is to be able to sit with whatever thoughts and feelings arise in me without allowing them to rock my world. I would like to be in the habit, especially when a 4 year old presses my buttons, “These thoughts just arise as a natural occurrence in my brain when it meets a point of resistance, of unreasonableness. My thoughts are not me. My mind is not me.” However, my mind is quite clever (if I do say so with humility) at finding every route to getting me on board that train to the end of the line. My daily Yoga practice is like my free pass to get on and off the train wherever I wish, finding new tracks when the old ones are not serving me.

Sounds ideal, doesn’t it? It is ideal. My real world is like my sticky mat were covered in vomit, snot, slobber, cereal, hugs, kisses, energy, and exhaustion. So, I have to learn to practice Yoga even with all this crud covering it. I can’t wash it off and I wouldn’t want to. It is my life that I have chosen. If I want to be the parent person I want to be, I need Yoga practice. And I need to find ways to practice it off the mat because, as a parent of three small boys, even Yoga off the mat is a luxury that is necessary.

Read more in Do You Know What Sucks? PPD Sucks: Part the Second,  Sutra 1.1, “Now is the time for Yoga”

Even if you have never been in Warrior 2 in your life, I will bet you can remember a situation when your thoughts tried to talk you out of doing something. How did you handle it? Did you catch a ride on your train? Were you able to observe the thoughts, be with them without judging them, and go ahead anyway?

 

Other Posts in The Original Series:

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Treehugger

I have an addiction to my Google Reader. I love reading what other bloggers have written about topics like gentle parenting, mindful living, taking practices of Yoga and meditation on and off the mat, and even the occasional recipe or list of helpful experiences.

So to save you the time, I’m sharing some of my favorite blog posts and articles that I’ve come across that I think you’ll enjoy. I’m joining it up with Hobo Mama’s and Authentic Parenting’s Sunday Surf.

I’ve fallen way behind on my blog reading this month and haven’t shared as many of the outstanding posts I have managed to read this month. I was however pleased to participate in three gentle parenting related carnivals during February. I have chosen three from each carnival that represent a good sampling of the diversity of approaches the writers chose. The quality of every post means they are well worth reading and the nature of the carnivals is such that you can link to every post from the one you are reading. And I recommend that you read as many as your time allows.

The Family Size Carnival hosted by Jazzy Mama and City Kids Home Schooling:

  • Economics of Family Size Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling uses an economic cost-benefit analysis to determine her family’s optimal size.
  • Family Size Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she has no idea what size her family will end up being; though she used to be sure, a few factors have recently come up to change everything.
  • Is Adoption for Me? Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares why she would consider adoption as the socially responsible way to have a large family.

February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions with Other Parents hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama:

February Authentic Parenting Carnival: Fostering Healthy Attachment hosted by Authentic Parenting and Mudpie Mama:

And one more Bonus Carnival that I did not participate in, but is a thoroughly entertaining read: I’m a Natural Parent…BUT hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parenting Network.

 

So, warm up your clicking fingers and please share your comment love to my warmest link hugs.

Looking for more great reads? Please check out my Facebook Page and Follow me on Twitter where I share other posts that I love every day.

Sunday Surf with Authentic Parenting and Hobo MamaI’m joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

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It’s Book Sharing Monday from Smiling Like Sunshine! We read a lot of books in this family and I love hearing from other parents when they come across a book that their kids liked. So, I’m going to be adding weekly posts about books that my kids recommend. Feel free to share any you’ve come across that might be a nice complement to the one I’m reviewing
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The Happiest Tree: A Yoga Story

This book tells the story of Meena as she learns to focus and believe in herself through her practice of yoga. It begins with Meena enjoying painting the sets for her school production of a “new and improved” version of Red Riding Hood, until she spills the paint and feels embarassed.

 

Then, she finds out that everyone has to perform in the play and is nervous because she feels clumsy. The adults who interact with Meena in the story are good listeners and are supportive, rather than being critical as Meena worries about tripping and stumbling.

 

Meena and her mother take a trip to the Indian grocery store, where she finds out from her Auntie that there is a children’s yoga class that her Auntie thinks might help Meena with her awkward feelings.

 

Meena gives it a go. She has trouble focusing in rehearsals and tends to make mistakes in and out of yoga class. But, after a few weeks of practice, she has a thought light up her mind,

I can change my body by how I feel inside. If I am quiet inside, my body will be still.  That’s what yoga is really about.

 

On the night of the performance, Meena trips, stumbles and gets tangled up in her costume. But, she takes deep breaths, focuses and doesn’t let anything bother her. She decides to take what she learned in yoga class with her on the stage and enjoys the performance. She learns that no matter what, she can recreate this feeling for herself whenever she wants to.

 

The final page in the book shows a few of the key poses that Meena tries in her yoga class and recommends a few yoga books for children. I agree with the list, although the poses shown do not have any instructions on how to do the poses or breathing exercises, which would have been useful.

 

The illustrations are beautifully colored and the references to Indian culture add a nice flavor to the book.  My kids didn’t know what matthi was. So, we went to an Indian grocery store and bought some as a treat. (if you don’t know what matthi is, I highly recommend getting some. It is delicious.)

 

I knew my 5.5yo son would enjoy this book since he’s into his kid’s yoga class right now and thought my 3.5yo son might, too, since he has been watching more kid’s yoga dvds lately. I was surprised that this book had interest for my 19mo son. But, he asks for this one often. He like to pretend to eat the food on the pages and do down dog when he sees the yoga class. This might not be a typical result for this age, though. My youngest is currently in a love affair with books (that I hope dearly lasts forever) and will read several picture books in a row with me before losing interest.

 

Activities:

  • Read “Little Red Riding Hood” and talk about the differences between the version they created in this book and the fairy tale. Make up your own endings-the more far-fetched the better.
  • Ask your kids to teach a “Red Riding Hood” yoga class to you. They can make up poses for each of the characters and run around the forest acting out the story. Put on your best wolf-face pose!
  • Get outside with some trees and practice tree poses. Is there wind blowing the trees around? Do they stand still and tall or droop and sway? Is there yummy fruit or cupcakes growing from your tree to pick? What can you observe about real trees then use your imagination about to create something new.
  • Try some movement exercises with feelings. What does mad look like in your body? Or joyful? Or shy? And so on. If your child doesn’t want to move their body, this would also be a great play dough or painting experiment.

Have you read any good books lately? I’d love to hear from you.

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Treehugger

I have an addiction to my Google Reader. I love reading what other bloggers have written about topics like gentle parenting, mindful living, taking practices of Yoga and meditation on and off the mat, and even the occasional recipe or list of helpful experiences.

So to save you the time, I’m sharing some of my favorite blog posts and articles that I’ve come across that I think you’ll enjoy. I’m joining it up with Hobo Mama’s and Authentic Parenting’s Sunday Surf.

Pick your best post and add it to the list at Baby Dust Diaries. I’m eagerly anticipating some great reading from this list.
  • Balancing motherhood and other activities can leave social outlets falling short. I’ve been trying to figure out why my socially engaged self has been feeling exhausted by friendship efforts. Prana Mama has a good take on this.

  • The New York Times recently published an article that sparked a huge number of responses from the Yoga community. Yoga Dork pulls them all together in one post. It makes for an incredible wealth of opinions on the nature and purpose of Yoga, journalism, and life in general.

  • I’m planning to spend the weekend reading time on the links from this post, Imperfect Happiness’ reading list, and the Carnival of Natural Parenting. I’m really looking forward to this!

  • This is a list of blogs that CJ from Imperfect Happiness never misses. Disclaimer that I’m included on this list, but don’t let that turn you away. I trust her recommendations for terrific book reviews. She knows quality writing when she sees it.

  • This is coming to appreciate the true beauty of your self. This is letting go of what you see and becoming the seer. This is Yoga. This is Life. This is Love. from Tree of Yoga.

  • The Lemon Chess Pie, or could be Lemon “Jess” Pie, is a true Southern classic. Along with a list of how this pie got it’s name, Cafe Terra Blog also gives us this tasty and easy recipe.  With a link up to almost 50 more citrus-based recipes, it will keep you busy in the kitchen.

So, warm up your clicking fingers and please share your comment love to my warmest link hugs.

Looking for more great reads? Please check out my Facebook Page and Follow me on Twitter where I share other posts that I love every day.

Sunday Surf with Authentic Parenting and Hobo MamaI’m joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

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For the Winter Solstice, I am honored to share with you a guest post from one of my spiritual inspirations and Yoga Gurus, Cora Wen, of YogaBloom. In addition to being one of the most bendy Yoginis I know, Cora has an addiction to doing headstands all over the world, won’t you please enable her by stopping by her blog and leaving some comment love?

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Winter = Warm Kidney

WINTER
Element – Water
Colour – Black
Nature – Yin
Organs – Kidney/Bladder
Emotion – Fear/Willpower
Taste – Salty
Condition – Cold
Direction – North

Winter Solstice is the shortest day and longest night of the year. In Chinese Medicine the short day and long night is the balance point of Yin and Yang. With the Solstice today, we are officially in Winter.

Winter is full Yin and has the characteristics of inactive, cool, damp, slow, feminine, and quiet as everything slows down. Our bodies instinctively want to rest, reflect, conserve and store energy. Giving ourselves time for introspection, rest, and conserving energy (Ch’i) prepares us for the outburst of growth and activity in the new year.

This is the season of Yin (darkness and conservation) dominating over Yang (light and movement). Chinese Medicine sees Nature and its patterns, forms and seasons reflected in our bodies and emotions. Each season is associated with an element, emotion, organ, and taste, so if we are in harmony with our environment, we adapt better and stay healthy.

The change from Autumn to the colder, darker days of Winter changes or emotions, and we can feel moody, depressed and lethargic. This is the time to store and conserve, much as bears hibernate or farmers prepare for winter. The more we understand the energy of Nature around us, the better our emotions will be in balance with the world.

Winter is the Water element, and associated with kidneys, bladder, and adrenal glands.  According to Chinese wisdom, Kidneys are the source of all energy (Ch’i), and store Ch’i for times of stress and change, to heal, prevent illness, and help aging.

Kidneys govern the low back, so be mindful with the snow and cold, and conserve your Kidney Ch’i by treating back injuries quickly as they can persist in winter.  This final part of the year can be filled with a hectic pace of shopping, socialising, travelling, decorating and other high energy consumption, so find time to slow down and get in sync with Natures cycles.

It is important to nurture and nourish your Kidney Ch’i and keep this area warm and covered, since this energy can be easily depleted. This season also stresses the ears so cover your head and neck to fortify kidney energy. In Winter,  digestion slows and heart function is at a low ebb so your circulation also slows. Sugar lowers the white blood count, so moderation is key. Watch the Holiday goodie intake!

This is the perfect time to treat yourself to some Restorative Yoga to nourish your spirit. To activate digestion and keep the spine awake and healthy, infuse your Yoga practice with twists. Activate Kidney Ch’i as you twist from the belly and back body. Forward folding is another way to focus awareness inward, but make sure you keep the heart lifted in forwards bends or the practice can become melancholy, and exacerbate emotions of fear and depression in the Kidney.

Chinese believe we can live in harmony with the cycles of Natures to be healthy. The cold and darkness of winter urges us to slow down, and our bodies instinctively understand the principles of winter. This is the time to reflect, replenish, and conserve energy and strength.

Here are a few tips to staying healthy this season:

  • Emphasize warming foods like hearty soups and stews, whole grains, roasted nuts, root vegetables, beans, garlic, ginger, miso and seaweed. Helps warm the core and nourishes Yin.
  • Sleep early, rest well, stay warm, and expend less energy. Restores Kidney Ch’i.
  • Find ways to relax and release stress on a daily basis. Include yoga, meditation, relaxation therapy or nap. Releases stress and pressures of life.
  • Share thoughts and release emotions that are stuck or repeating, and find moments for meditation. Nourishes and strengthens wisdom/willpower.
  • Seasonal acupuncture help tonify the organ system. Preventative treatment for body harmony.

 

***
Cora Wen is an international expert on yoga therapy. She is an ERYT-500 (senior) Yoga Alliance certified instructor and is also CYT certified through the International Association of Yoga Therapists. She frequently teaches in S. Asia and Thailand as well as throughout United States. Cora is a favorite of yoga students of all levels due to the extraordinary energy and life experiences she brings to her classes. After sowing wild oats in New York City in the 70s with rockers Deborah Harry and Patti Smith, she had careers in fashion and banking. Cora assisted Erich Schiffmann and Rodney Yee extensively throughout the 90s, while working as a corporate banker. Eventually, she left banking to follow her love and passion for yoga fulltime. Cora’s expertise has arisen from over two decades of teaching and apprenticing with America’s most influential teachers. She has studied philosophy and therapeutics extensively with Judith Hanson Lasater and Patricia Walden. Cora Wen blogs at Yoga Bloom. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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Massage in Frankfurt, Germany

Image via Wikipedia

I thought I would get everyone warmed up for the Mindful Mama Carnival by sharing some ways to be Anti-Mindful:

1. Eat extra servings of the food and drink that you know you react poorly to.

Processed, refined, and prepared foods can lead to discomfort and dissatisfaction. If you know you have allergies or intolerances, that won’t quite kill you or put you in hospital, this is the time of year to try them again. Overindulging in them, especially when the holidays often mean having them readily on hand, can keep you from wanting to feel the sensations of your body. Your Great Aunt put a lot of work into that Gluten-rich, nut-stuffed Fruit cake. Please don’t disappoint her by whining about keeping a clean body again.

2. Avoid exercise or activity at any cost.

Take the elevator instead of the stairs. Drive a car instead of taking mass transit, walking or riding a bicycle. Eschew the gym, yoga studio or exercise trails. It helps you choke back the guilt if you sneer at anyone wearing Yoga pants. After several days, your body will become stiff and unwieldy. You’ll have to switch from your own comfy yoga pants to your partner’s old sweatpants to keep your belly comfortable. This activity has the added benefit of allowing you to ignore environmental damage and being frugal. That’s a triple anti-mindfulness win.

3. Stay indoors and avoid nature.

Vitamin D can help you feel healthy and this is not the goal of anti-mindfulness. You want to block out sensations of health so as to cultivate a sense of dis-ease. It makes it easier to avoid those pesky thoughts about conscious living. You can continue worrying about whether cheez-it stains clash with gray sweatpants when you stay inside. Nature can cause you to breathe deeply and feel good about not truly needing anything but this moment. And no one wants that.

4. Avoid people that support conscious living.

Just having a simple conversation with someone who strives to live mindfully can pull you into a downward spiral of anti-consumerism, healthy living, and giving without regard to outcome. Yoga teachers and massage therapists are especially dangerous to be around this time of year because they often actively practice mindful living and are happy to dole out their hippy dippy ideas. Stick close to strangers at big box stores and fast food restaurants for ethical conversations during the holidays. If one of them surprises you with a mindful comment back away quickly while holding your hands in front of your chest.

5. Stay busy from the moment you wake until you pass out zombie-like in bed.

If you never take the time to be alone with yourself, you don’t have to worry about accidentally slipping into a meditative state. If you haven’t noticed the theme so far, avoidance is your first line of defense against mindful living. The second line of defense is filling your body, time, and house up with as much stuff as you can. If you have things to do, objects to buy, and food to consume, you will never have a moment to cultivate mindfulness. Plus, you’ll be so exhausted and sick; you’ll pass out at the end of the night. If by chance, you have insomnia, this is the time to return to Number 1. There are always leftovers to dig into at 2am.

 

Did you make it to the end? Great! That means you can have an extra day to submit your post. So, click on over and submit your post before December 9th Midnight PST.

 

Are there any items you would like to add to this list? I’ve pulled up my vat of soda and mixing bowl of chips as I eagerly await your comments.

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It’s Book Sharing Monday from Smiling Like Sunshine! We read a lot of books in this family and I love hearing from other parents when they come across a book that their kids liked. So, I’m going to be adding weekly posts about books that my kids recommend. Feel free to share any you’ve come across that might be a nice complement to the one I’m reviewing
***

Babar’s Yoga for Elephants

This book begins with the “discovery” of ancient drawings depicting elephants doing yoga. It goes through a short, cute history of elephant Yogis, then dives into Babar doing sun salutations. On the next two double pages, there’s a point by point description of the sequences on the left pages and illustrations of the poses on the right pages. My kids were able to follow along easily and enjoyed making elephant noises while doing sun salutations.

Then there are about 10 more double pages highlighting various poses with instructions and elephant illustrations. My smartypants ds1 noted that the elephant’s pelvis can’t do the poses, but since they were drawings it was okay.

Elephant Yoga

There’s one page about breathing and a short walkthrough of alternate nostril pranayama, which an elephant can do simply by twisting his trunk. There are several funny illustrations of elephants popping into yoga poses in various places (“like you, mama!”) and then the elephants travel around the world demonstrating yoga poses and why they are important to practice during times of stress like delayed planes, traffic, and in using the body to connect with the place you are. For example, Warrior pose at the Eiffel Tower and cobra pose near the Golden Gate Bridge.

We looked up all the places on the map and practiced the poses when we found them. It actually got them interested in learning more about the places, so we spent several hours looking at photos on the computer and discussing what were man-made and what were natural formations. Our discussions touched on architecture, art, engineering, geology, geography, weathering, pollution, travel, and patience.

It has been quite a rewarding book. Above all though, this book reinforces the idea that Yoga is a way to calm and center yourself. Through breathing, postures, and meditation, you can connect to yourself and to the world around you in a more pleasant, connected way. My kids got this message more clearly, I think, because it was shown through elephants, instead of people.

Have you read any good books lately? I’d love to hear from you.

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This is part three in my series on Giving and Forgiving…

Forgiving yourself even when you can’t let go.

Christmas gifts.

Image via Wikipedia

In Part 1 of this series on Giving and Forgiving, I began with how my laughing epiphany helped me make the connection between giving and accepting freely. Please stop by to read the background for this post. In Part 2 of this series, I make the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in giving gifts and discuss how giving and object is a representation of the feelings you feel about someone else.

*There is a trigger warning on this post for mentions of child abuse and survivor guilt*

Where did my Yoga posts go? I’ve been writing some about meditation and mindfulness, which are a part of Yoga, but where are the rest of the 8-limbs in my life[1]? Why has my daily personal asana practice disappeared? Why am I not going to the studio daily like I was?

I’ve felt like I’ve been missing a significant part of my life. It has been more difficult to balance and stay centered with things that I used to skip by without a problem. Yoga takes the edge off of everything for me. It’s something I need on a regular basis, but I’ve been avoiding writing about it and practicing it regularly. I’m centered and prepared to do the work of healing and parenting with a sense of playfulness and joy when I have a daily Yoga practice.

Yet, the physical practices of Yoga, such as asanas, or poses, have consisted mostly of restoratives and relaxation poses. I have been shying away from poses that open, expand, or give me a workout. I have been resistant to taking classes with my favorite teachers because they are often the ones who are best at helping me locate and work my edge that day.

I’ve been wondering about this resistance. Then I came across this quote and it started clicking together for me:

“There is an Indian proverb that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.” — Rumer Godden

I’ve been spending all of my time exploring the mental, emotional, and spiritual rooms in my house. I’ve been tending them and learning about them on my path to healing. But, the physical room has been neglected. I have literally been hiding from my body by concentrating with my mind.

I stopped riding my bike, walking, running and hiking regularly because I was avoiding sensations in my body. I still did these things when I had my family with me because I could focus solely on them and forget about myself.

I can track back to when this began. It started last spring when the memories of abuse started to resurface. The more memories I uncovered, the more I retreated from connection with my body.

I have always heard people talk about abuse and the pain it caused them, both at the time and later. I didn’t understand that there was an element of pleasure mixed with the pain. I can’t admit to any pleasure my body felt because that would be saying that I wasn’t abused. If I liked it, it was consensual.

As if an 11 year old girl could have a consensual relationship with a sadistic orthodontist.

But, my head has yet to let go of the fact that in that warped, manipulated emotional and physical torture, my body responded in ways I didn’t understand. And once I did understand, I think they helped to further repress the memories of horror.

Girl looking up chimney from fireplace.

Image via Wikipedia

I have read about the hold that the abuser has on the victim and how they are often convinced that it is a loving relationship. In my relationship with my abuser, he made me think his causing me pain was helping him. I remember him telling me repeatedly that if it weren’t for me, he would be in pain himself.

I rode my bike to my appointments for years. I could have skipped out on them. No one would have known or cared at home. But, I went back over and over again because I was the only one who could take care of him. And I took pleasure in the pain. Even while I yelled or cried out because it hurt me, I felt physical pleasure.

The feelings of guilt and of being a disgusting person that my body could respond in this way and I didn’t do anything to stop it overwhelm me to this day. I feel dirty in a way that will never wash off no matter how hard I try to wash or cut it out of me.

This is what I am doing. I’m giving that 11 year old girl a gift. The gift of an adult who forgives her. The gift of an adult who knows her in a way that no one else can and will never leave her. The gift of forgiving her for not having enough power to stop it. The gift to forgive my body, which was her body, and no one else’s-not even his.

 

I’m also linking this post up with McCrenshaw’s Latest Thoughts and It’s Ok Blog‘s Mindfulness Parenting Challenge #2: on Forgiveness. Please go check it out.

 

[1] The 8-limbs of Yoga and using them in daily life will be in an upcoming post

It is the spirit of exchange that moves someone to give freely. It is interesting to think about the gift of forgiveness for ourselves and others. This can be an especially challenging thing during the holidays.I’ll explore forgiveness, guilt, as well as giving our truth (including the idea of Santa Claus in future posts in this series)

Questions from Part 3: Do you visit the four rooms of your house? Are there any areas you need to offer the key of self-forgiveness before you unlock them?

Remember, anonymous comments are always welcome. I’d love to hear from you.

NaBloPoMo 2011

Questions from Part 1: Have you ever been charged for receiving a gift? Do you have expectations when you give to someone else?

Questions from Part 2: Do you feel that giving and receiving freely is important or is a gift a gift? What do you think about the concept that giving objects are a representation of the feelings inside?

This article contains all original content by TouchstoneZ.com and is protected by copyright. If you are viewing this post on another site than TouchstoneZ.com please notify the author at zoie.touchstonez(at)gmail.com

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Holiday Indulgence

Holiday Indulgence

The holiday season is upon us and while I’m trying to stay conscious of my eating, I will be indulging myself and even over-indulging several times before the season is through. While I may feel more inclined for a siesta on the sofa, if I want to avoid some digestive discomfort during my snooze, I plan to do a gentle yoga practice first.

Digestive discomfort may not be solely from eating too many rich foods. Sometimes they can be caused by the stress and aggravation of traveling, organizing the festivities, or even from confronting less than calm interactions around the table. Yoga practice will help me meet with the seasonal stressors with more calm and centeredness. Taking a little time to dedicate to my practice, even 20 minutes, can remind me to focus on the moments of joy and let go of the irritations.

The goal with the Yoga practice either before or after a holiday event is to take a sense of ease off the mat and into the world. I can take the feeling of calm with me as I encounter the stressors with greater equanimity. And practicing after an event will help me heal any dis-ease so that I can truly relax when I get that snooze.

Bearing in mind that it is best to practice yoga with a relatively empty stomach, if there is gas or acid, these poses can still be performed as long as you move slowly and gently. Remember that moving into and out of the poses carefully can be more important than actually being in the pose. These are the times when I am most likely distracted and not as careful with my body as I need to be, especially if I’m thinking about my stomach ache.

Sitting cross-legged

Sitting cross-legged

Breathing (Pranayama)

Even if there are just a few moments stolen between activities, simply sitting in a comfortable position, closing the eyes and slowing the breath can help. Keep the mind on the inhale and the exhale through the nose. Be curious about whether the inhale or the exhale is longer. Try to slow down the breath, keeping it comfortable and easy. Don’t allow your mind to wander, but keep it focused on the cleansing breath. Allow your breath to move any trapped gas out of the body. If the stomach is churning, keep thinking of the natural rhythm of the breath in and out, as it bring in nutrients and releases waste.

Yoga Cat

Table to Cat Cow Pose

Coming to hands and knees with elbows straight but not locked, form a table with your back, keeping the head in line with the spine. On an inhale, slowly move in a swayback cow position by arching the back while allowing the belly to hang down toward the floor. Raise the head and look up to the ceiling. Then on an exhale, slowly move into cat by bowing the back toward the ceiling, sucking the belly in (if it feels alright for your digestion) and letting the top of the head drop toward the floor. Repeat with the breath a few times. Pause in table top again then move the right side of the head, shoulder, and right hip toward each other on an inhale. Exhale while releasing and move the left side of your head, shoulder and left hip toward one another. Repeat a few times, following the breath. Finally return to table top position for one breath cycle.

Down Dog

Down Dog Pose

From table top, on the next exhale, push up into downward facing dog. Straighten the legs and keep the elbows straight but not locked. Move up and out of the shoulders without collapsing the chest. Look toward the heels and imagine them lowering to the floor on each exhale. Allow the belly to become soft and think of lifting your sitting bones toward the ceiling. Feel the strength of the legs while slightly shifting the weight into them and off your shoulders. Breathe with a soft belly.

Triangle Pose

Triangle Pose

Triangle Pose

From down dog, slowly step the right leg forward between the hands. In this lunge position, turn the left foot flat so that it the toes are pointing at a 90 degree angle. Checking to make sure the arch of the left foot is in line with the heel of the right foot, move the left toes in slightly. On an inhale, using the strength of the back leg, straighten the front knee (but don’t lock it) and turn the torso to face the side wall as you lift the left arm toward the ceiling. Place the right hand on the shin or a block. Those are a lot of directions, so once the feeling of having the pose happens, bring your attention back to the breath and the belly. Calm and level out the breathing if it has quickened and allow the belly to go soft. After a few breaths, slowly turn and place the hands back on either side of the front foot and find that lunge position. Bring the right leg back. Find down dog, table top or child’s pose and rest for a few breaths before repeating triangle on the other side.

Easy Spinal Twist

Easy Spinal Twist

Seated or Supported Twist Pose

Skip the more active version of the pose if diarrhea is an issue. Supported twist or better yet supported child’s pose with the torso resting on a bolster, rolled blankets, or firm cushions is a better choice. From Table top or down dog, moving slowly, come into a cross-legged position. It is fine to sit on a cushion or even a chair if hip flexibility might cause limitations for the twist. Inhale and lift the arms overhead and straighten the spine. On an exhale, lower the arms as the torso turns to the right. Place the right hand on the floor behind the hip and the left hand to the outside of the right knee. Turn the head and look over the right shoulder. Breathe. Notice if the spin has collapsed and straighten if needed. Ensure that the belly is soft. Back off from the twist a bit if too much tension is being held in the belly or hip flexors. After a few breaths, us an inhale to turn the torso and head back to center, raising the arms overhead. Repeat on the left side.

The supported version of the twist begins with placing the bolster, rolled blankets, or firm cushion extending away behind the right hip. Instead of sitting cross-legged, bend the right knee and place the right side of the leg toward the floor so the arch of the right foot meets the left knee. Either keep the left leg straight on the floor or bend it so that the inside of the left leg is on the floor and the arch of the left foot rest comfortably on the floor. Inhale, arms overhead. Exhale, and turn the torso so to the right, then lay it down along the support. Relax the belly and breathe. Repeat on the left side after a few moments.

Legs up the WallLegs Up the Wall Pose

Sit down facing to the left against the wall. Place the right hip at the base of the wall, then lean back away from the wall, raising the legs up along the wall as you roll onto your back. If this is not comfortable due to tight hamstrings, place a firm pillow, bolster or yoga block underneath the hips. Place arms out to the sides and breathe. Stay in this position for up to 15 minutes. To come out, roll out slowly in the same manner as going in, taking plenty of time to readjust after the inversion. Move slowly.

To create a Flow practice for digestion ease, move between the first four poses, inserting child’s pose or simple breathing between poses as needed. This can be done as energetically or as slowly as desired, so long as breathing is never compromised and awareness of keeping the belly soft is maintained.

I have a Mini-Restorative Sequence for Moon Time that is also wonderful for easing digestion, lowering stress, and bringing a sense of groundedness during these busy holiday times. There is a full explanation of the supported child’s pose there, as well.

NaBloPoMo 2011

 

Image Credits: Wikipedia, Seated Twist: jbyogafit on Flickr, Legs up the Wall: Elsie YogaKula

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