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Posts Tagged ‘November’

What I’ve learned this month of NaBloPoMo and NaNoProgMo

NaBloPoMo

For the past year, I have kept up an almost daily litany of complaints to my husband that I never have enough time to write. I have a million ideas, but I rarely got to sit down and hash them out.

The writing ideas languish in my head until they disappear or they remain in a notebook until I lose my interest in writing them. I would estimate that for every post I get up on my blog, I have 10 in purgatory.

And then there’s this book I’ve been not writing for years. I haven’t picked it up since the birth of my first child over five years ago. My copious notes sit in a binder on my bookshelf waiting for someone to bring them to life.

This month I took on two writing projects, National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) and National Novel Progress Month (NaNoProgMo), hosted by Lauren Wayne and MomGrooves. I agreed to post a blog everyday for the entire month. And I decided I would spend a measly 30 minutes daily working on my book. 30 minutes may not seem like much, but it’s better than the zero minutes I had been doing. For NaNoProgMo, I left my goal to finish 15 hours more loose. I knew I probably could not do that much, but if I got on a roll, I wanted the chance.

I wanted to do these projects for the following reasons:

  1. I wanted to have a time that I could look back on, point to it and say, “this is what I did when I had plenty of time to write” and hopefully never complain about the lack of time again.
  2. I wanted to improve my writing by disciplining myself to write daily.
  3. I wanted to let go of my expectations of perfection.
  4. I wanted to see if I could finish something writing related.

Well, I did what I set out to do. With this post, I have blogged every day. I even posted twice a couple of times, when it was warranted. I had one guest post, but I still wrote that day. I’ve ended up with 32 posts for the month of November. I’m quite proud of that.

The NaNoProgMo experiment proved to be about half editing and half writing. When I’m tired, I dislike editing with the fire of a thousand suns. And guess what time of night (er, early morning) I was editing? So, if I’m counting hours spent on my book in dog years (which I’m going to because I was a really b*tching during the process) then this puppy far exceeded expectations.

I feel that there’s the possibility of completing this book one day. Although, I’m planning to put it aside for awhile to work on other ideas, I leave it knowing I’m capable of working on it when I want to.

As for NaBloPoMo, I learned that I want to write every single day. It feeds my soul in a way that nothing else does. However, I don’t want to blog every day. I’m happier producing content three to five times per week. I prefer to write, put a piece aside for a day or two while I focus on something else, then go back and edit it.

St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...

Image via Wikipedia

With daily posting, I was writing, doing a cursory edit, if that, and then publishing with a wing and a prayer that my ramblings were relatively coherent and ungrammatically imploded (yes, it’s a phrase.)I’m not certain I always succeeded. But, trust me, my brain knows the difference between your and you’re, etc, even when my fingers don’t.

And as for Spellcheck, I like passive voice, thank you very much ;P.

I learned that I do not want unlimited time to write. It is drudgery and misery to work without the confines of time pockets.

Ideally, I want the world to pause when the muse sneaks up behind me and hits me on the head with a club. But, most of the time, I simply try to catch the stars circling my sore head and save them for feverish late night scribbling.

And now that I’ve had this month, I like getting bonked on the head that way (although I reserve the right to bemoan all the lost ideas.) I miss being with my family when I was writing as much as I was this month. I miss doing other things when I want to-anything at this point than writing.

I learned that I have a habit of winding myself up to write. I’ll get on twitter, facebook, read blogs, comment…basically preparing to write for a longer time than the actual writing. I’ve been taming that. Sitting down to a blank page, even when filled with ideas sucks, but if I want to live and write, that’s what I’ve got to do.

My editing may not have improved, but my skill at writing with efficiency has improved. I’m less distracted when I write. I can stay on task longer and allow the ideas to flow unimpeded. I can write posts in far less time after this month than in the beginning.

I’m less tied to the outcome of posts. I’m not worried about them being the best they can be. Not every post, or even many of my posts, are anywhere close to being as good as I’d like them to be. But, I have come to appreciate that as a part of the art of blogging. Yes, it sticks around, but it has a limited shelf-life. There’s always another post around the corner. And it’s worth it just to happen upon the one true ring…I mean…one true post to rule them all and in the darkness bind them…er, one post that rings true with someone else. That connection makes blogging a joy for me.

I learned that my belief in blogging as community is even more firmly cemented than ever. My Google Reader has exploded with unread blogs. I haven’t been keeping up with anyone’s writing and I miss them. I love giving support to other bloggers’ time and effort by commenting. I’ll be clicking “Mark all as read” at midnight tonight, then starting fresh on December 1st. I eagerly anticipate returning to old friends and meeting new ones this month as I return to commenting.

I’ve learned that my partner was willing to bend over backwards for me this month because he could see the passion I have for these projects. He took on more time with the kids and household duties on top of working long hours and the already involved dad he was. He overlooked the steadily building piles of laundry, dishes, books, papers, and unpacked bags while doing what he could to manage them. Sadly, he lost the war, but beginning tomorrow, he’ll have his ally back.

And finally I learned that being a Political Science/Journalism double major in college has ruined me for writing anything less than 1,000 words. No matter how hard I try, my brain is trained to create the introduction, body, and conclusion in that length.

I went completely off-balance this month. On purpose. I’ve breathed words, but haven’t lived them enough. I’ve exhaled, but not done enough inhaling. It’s time to return to center, pause and look around, enjoy some deep, full breaths and return to life again.

That is unless someone is planning a NaKnitMo. I have been wanting to pick up my needles again after all these years…Don’t worry hubby, that was a joke.

 

I’m not one to break with my month-long tradition. This goes up unedited and full of my beloved passive voice. *smoochies to spellcheck, that will now have a conniption*

NaBloPoMo 2011

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Tracks

Tracks

It’s day three of NaBloPoMo and I’m writing about writer’s block. I’ve started and stopped seven (seven!) different posts today. It’s 8pm and I’m on the edge of panic. I’ve set this month’s daily posting as a goal for myself and as an experiment. Mostly I want to just write anyway. Just write anyway. Even when I don’t want to. Even when it’s hard. Even when I’m blocked like this. Just write anyway. It will help me get better as a writer.

So, I’ll do a body scan and check in with myself here (and see if I can still touch-type with my eyes shut. Heh!) I’m tight around my eyes. I’m tight between my shoulder blades. I’m grinding my ankles together. I’m hunched over my laptop…”loosen,” “relax,” “let go”

Writing as a practice.

There is a concept in Yoga called, “abhyasa.” I have two favorite ways to interpret abhyasa, the first is “tireless dedication to practice” and the second is “practice for practice’s sake.”

With abhyasa, I can hold my goals in my mind, but I also let them go. There’s no deal-making like, “if I do this, I’ll get that.” There is only, “I would like that goal. Practicing will help. I see that. Now, I will focus on the doing because it is in the practice that I remember to stay present and be here in the now.”

I do want to meet my goal of improving my writing. I want to extend myself, break some boundaries and fears (like writing a poem or doing a vlog , both of which scare the jeepers out of me.) But, I also understand that these goals are vague enough that I won’t really know what I’ve learned until I get to the end. And that month-end goal isn’t enough to get my hand to the page every single day.

I choose abhyasa.

And that makes me think of another goal or benefit to this month, I hope that the discipline of writing daily, no matter what, will be something I can slip into with regularity after the month is done. Perhaps I can even point back to the month of November as an example of being able to write because I chose to, even when it wasn’t easy or good. I still chose it.

So, here I am practicing and I’ve made it to 400 words just sorting through my thoughts on (dare I say it and bring it back to my mind?) writer’s block. Yes, there’s all that tightness creeping back in over these 400 odd words, but there’s also a subtle openness, too. There’s permission to write through the tightness. There’s surrender there. There’s even a little love and compassion if I allow myself to feel it.

Abhyasa feels good. I’m in the flow and fully present. It’s uncomfortable to feel the block, but I’m okay with it. I can look that specter in the face and smile. Maybe the next time we meet this month, I’ll put my arm around block’s shoulders (which are really my shoulders) and give them a little massage to loosen it up.

 

Do you ever keep to a practice purely for the experience? How do you keep going even when you don’t want to? I would love to hear from you.

 

NaBloPoMo 2011

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