While I am away from my blog, I am honored to showcase a group of talented writers who have stepped forward with their unique voices in support. Every guest writer who is featured here is one that I strongly suggest you follow. Today, I am pleased to share with you this guest post from Darcel at The Mahogany Way. I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop by her blog and leave some comment love.
This year I really would like to focus on being more mindful of my children.
I want to learn to be in the moment with them. They are growing up so fast.
Instead of focusing on days, months and years, I’m going to be in the here and now.
I’m going to focus on each individual interaction with them.
Those precious moments when they come to hug me and say “I love you mommy”
When we are snuggled on the couch, I’m not going to worry about the laundry I think I must do today. The laundry will be there tomorrow. I’m not promised that my children will be.
I’m going to quit wondering when Nakiah will be able to fall asleep on her own. There will come a time when she won’t need or want our help getting to sleep. I’ll look back and wish we could go back to the days she needed us more.
After all, She does entertain us with stories about her day.
I’m also going to quit being jealous that she is a daddy’s girl. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love me.
I’m going to quit worrying about Ava turning three. She won’t be for several more months. That’s causing me to miss out on right now. I don’t want to look back and say “I wish I had not worried about this or that so much.”
Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow, why worry about something that hasn’t come up yet. It’s wasted time and energy.
I feel that with each child I grow more as a mother and a person, but am I really giving my best?
If I’m honest with myself, the answer is sometimes. Nakiah and Ava don’t deserve a sometimes mom. They need me to be present at ALL times, and I want to be.
Some might say that is impossible, but is it really? I don’t think so. Today we made chocolate chip cookies. I enjoyed that time with them so much! Watching them crack eggs and stir, the look on their faces as all of the ingredients came together. It’s simple for me, but it was an amazing learning experience, and fun for them. I want to create more moments like those with them. Not so I can teach them something, but because they are my girls and I love and adore them.
It’s about moments, interactions, the memories I’ll cherish forever.
I couldn’t wait to become a mommy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I always said “when I grow up, I want to have a lot of kids and be able to stay home with them”
God has given me that opportunity, and I don’t want to mess it up. Will I make mistakes? I’m human so yes I will, but instead of beating myself up over it, and feeling sorry for myself, I’ll learn and move on.
I am so grateful for our Attachment Parenting, Unschooling lifestyle. It is very healing for me, and I see how much closer our family is. I will admit that when Nakiah was first born, I was so scared to put her in our bed. I was afraid to nurse in public, I worried about how to discipline her as she got older. The first moment I did put her in bed with us, we all slept so much better! We talked about how it just felt right to have her so close to us.
I also slowly became more and more comfortable nursing in public. I loved how positive discipline helped everyone in the family. It also felt good!
Over time I became more and more comfortable with the choices we were making. That led to Ava’s homebirth, and extended breastfeeding. We are growing together, and I love that.
Unschooling has taught us to truly trust in our children.
I am so excited to dive deeper into the unschooling lifestyle. I look forward to watching our children learn from living.
Unschooling has taught me how to accept my children for who they are, not who I think they should be.
I’ll walk at their pace more often, really listen when they talk, stop what I’m doing instead of saying “I’ll be there in five minutes”
I’m going to hug, kiss and cuddle them more.
Yes I already do all of these things, but can you give too many hugs and kisses?
I look forward to babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, unschooling, and cloth diapering, another angel that God has chosen to bless us with.
This year I am going to run with having the best job on earth, being a mother.
I don’t ever want to get to a place where I feel like I can’t grow or change anymore.
This post was written back in January 2010. I still have the same goals and am happy to report that while I’ve let so much go, I’m still working on letting other things go (housework) and embracing more (mess and kids being kids)
Since this post we’ve welcomed our third child, a boy and I did get to do all of those things I mentioned above. Even though life is not going how I planned, and things aren’t exactly the way I had hoped for, we are still blessed, happy and healthy.
It was good for me to read this post again. Reminds me of all that is important right now.
Darcel blogs at The Mahogany Way where she talks about Attachment Parenting, Radical Unschooling, Homebirth , Babywearing, Breastfeeding and being a Mama to three little ones. She loves chocolate and peanut butter, lipgloss and wearing high heels. You can also find Darcel on Facebook and Twitter.