Today, I am deeply honored to have a guest post at Raising My Boychick, entitled “Uninvited.” We all struggle with parenting at times. This is what it’s like for me to parent as I recover from trauma.
*There is a trigger warning on this post for childhood abuse.* The excerpt below avoids the trigger sections. Please honor yourself if you feel it would keep you safe not to read it and know that my heart is with you on your path of healing.
…Yet, I continue. I continue to parent, even while flawed. I continue to parent my children with love and apologies. Those apologies for tripping myself up to avoid triggers for my flashbacks.
I continue because I believe that, while I am flawed, no one can love them like I do. I believe that positive parenting and gentle discipline will break the cycle for all of us.
I know that witnessing suffering triggers the flashbacks. So, I overreact when one of them hits the other or when one of them is sick, such as the ear ache above. I want to remove the pain from my children. I want to run. I want to fight the flashbacks. I want to beat the memories down with a sledgehammer.
But, I know that being able to stay with these children and holding them through their pain the way I truly want to be will come not from resisting but from getting to know the fears well…(Read more)