Behind My back

yoga

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional

~Buddha

If you’ve ever been in a Yoga class where you spent more time in child’s post than in down dog, you understand the feelings of embarrassment, frustration, and surrender. Even when you take the ego out of performing in a class, there’s still a small part of you that wishes you were up, working your body as hard as you are working your mind in that moment.

As the sweat drips off my nose and directly onto my mat, I feel the class moving on without me. I am embarrassed that my body isn’t able to keep up. I’m frustrated that I can’t push through and continue with everyone as the sequence continues. But, it’s too late, I’ve been left at the station while the yoga train chugs away without me.

English: Balasana pose in Hatha yoga, commonly...

I am healing a rotator cuff injury and I understand that pushing through this kind of pain is not beneficial. I have already felt some tears. If I’m honest , I’ve already been unkind to myself because I want to be a part of my favorite yoga class. I want this because I know it’s a short cut. If I move, stretch, and sweat, I get to go directly to yoga afterglow, without passing Go. Instead, I feel stuck in prison. I’m stuck in the pain of my injury and the discomfort of holding myself back from what my heart wants to do in the now.

It’s a good time for some humility as I wryly realize that being so focused on moving forward, my body went behind my back to get me to slow down. With my forehead pressed into my mat, I surrender. I choose to be gentle with myself like I would my child. And I realize that I am, after all, in child’s pose. I am content.

Post for NaBloPoMo
(Since I’m writing most of these late at night, in bed, while tandem nursing twins, I’m choosing to concentrate on writing rather than formatting, proof-reading, researching or editing as much as I’d like. Please forgive the extra typos and non-nonsensical grammar. Thank you.)

NaBloPoMo November 2013

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4 thoughts on “Behind My back

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